W.S. CHARLIE AT NEWS DESK IN STUDIO.
High Beeping Noise.
“Before long a standard news report visual language established itself, one that immediately recognizable to anyone, me has this report.”
W.S. OF CITY BUILDING, SLOWLY ZOOMING IN.
V. O. “It starts here, with a lackluster establishing shot of a significant location.”
W.S. OF CHARLIE IN A BUSY HALL, WALKING TOWARDS THE CAMERA AS HE TALKS.
Background noise of people bustling.
“Next a walky-talky preamble from the altar, pacing steadily towards the lens, punctuating every other sentence with a hand gesture and ignoring all the pricks milling around him, like he’s gliding through the fucking matrix, before coming to a halt and posing a question. What, comes next?”
FADE TO PEOPLE WALKING ON A BRIDGE TOWARD CAMERA ON GROUND.
V. O. “Often something like this, a filler”
FADE TO PEOPLE WALKING ON A BRIDGE BELOW CAMERA.
V. O. “Shot designed to give your eyes something to look at while”
FADE TO PEOPLE WALKING ON A BRIDGE TOWARD CAMERA, SLOW IT DOWN, TURN TO MONOCHROME, LIST “LIST”, “APPEAR”, “ONE BY ONE” AND “ON THE SCREEN”.
V. O . “my voice babbles on about facts, sometimes it will slow down and to a halt, turn monochrome and some of those facts will appear, one by one, on the screen. This is followed by the”
6 ONE SECOND MID SHOTS OF OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE WITH THEIR FACES FRAMED OUT, EACH SLIDES INTO THE OTHER.
Background noise of people bustling.
V. O. “Shots of overweight people with their faces subtly framed out. After which, the report is padded out with a selection of lazy and pointless voxpox.
C.U. OF MALE BYSTANDER.
Background noise of people bustling.
MALE BYSTANDER “Usually get some inane chatter from people.”
M.S. OF FEMALE BYSTANDER.
Background noise of people bustling.
“Think they do have too much. I think what they want to here is actually what’s happening and not what other people think of it.”
M.S. OF OLDER MALE BYSTANDER.
Background noise of people bustling.
Old man doesn’t enunciate. I made out “I don’t want some......no.”
W.S. CROWD ON STREET WALKING, FAST FORWARD.
Background noise of people bustling.
V.O. “Another bit of dull visual abstraction”
W.S. GROUND LEVEL CROWD CROSSING STREET FAST FORWARD.
Background noise of people bustling.
V.O. to plug another gap nap before the report segways”
C.U. CROSS WALK BUTTON.
V.O. “gracefully into a bit of human interest”
M.S. MAN AT TABLE OPENING ENVELOPES.
Ripping paper.
V.O. “Courtesy of some dowdy man opening letters in a kitchen explaining how he’s been affected by the issue.”
V.O. “Courtesy of some dowdy man opening letters in a kitchen explaining how he’s been affected by the issue.”
C.U. MAN IN KITCHEN. WORDS ACROSS SCREEN “DOWDY KITCHEN MAN”.
Dowdy Kitchen Man: “When I’m watching the news, I don’t really... you know there’s a person talking to me telling me what’s going on, and I don’t really listen to what they’re saying.
W.S. MAN IN KITCHEN.
Dowdy Kitchen Man: “It’s just news. It’s just news.
V.O. “He unfortunately”
ANIMATED CHART.
V.O. “was boring so to wake you up this is an animated chart,”
SILHOUETTE OF FAMILY WITH THE WORD AVERAGE STAMPED ACROSS.
V.O. “this is a silhouette representing the average family and this is a light”
IMAGE OF LIGHT HOUSE, WITH LIGHT HOUSE KEEPER BEING BEHEADED BY A LASER BEAM.
Laser beam noise.
V.O. “-house keeper being beheaded by a laser beam.”
C.U. PEOPLE WORKING.
Background noise of people bustling.
V.O. As we near the end
C.U. CHINESE WOMAN TAKING PICTURES.
Background noise of people bustling.
V.O. of the report
W.S. PEOPLE WALKING ON A CROSS WALK
V.O. Illustrative shots of the pedestrians
W.S. SIGNS
V.O. “and signs”
M.S. PIPE AT THE WINDOW
V.P. “and a pipe at a window”
M.S. CHARLIE BROOKER TALKING TO CAMERA, PEOPLE ARE WALKING BEHIND HIM
Brooker: “and the final summary, ending on a whimsical shot of something nearby accompanied by a rye sign off.
WIPE TO SIGN, “REGENT STREET”
V.O. “if your lucky a bit of wordplay fit for a king, or in other woods, a Regent Street, Charlie Brooker, News Wipe, London.
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